Experiencing time loops, approximately 7 years each

Aug 23, 2016
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#1
I'm a 36-year-old woman living in Upstate New York in the United States. It's my perception that I'm experiencing yet another time loop in a long line of many. I'm open to different reasons/causes of this experience and wish to gain a better understanding of the situation in which I repeatedly find myself. I'm not distressed by the overall reason, overall outcome, or overall cause of this experience. I am, however, curious about its very nature and wonder if knowledge of my experience would be beneficial to the field of science or to individuals with similar experiences. I'm also getting pretty tired of dealing with it and simply-- but most distressing-- bored of doing the same things over and over again. It's not like I'm on any mission or saving the world from anything.

For anyone wondering about mental illness, here's my background: I have well-controlled Bipolar 1 Disorder; it was diagnosed when I was in my early 20s and I take the prescribed medication for it, leaving me with only slight mania if I don't sleep enough, which leads to greater socialization than usual and times when I do more cleaning and organizing than usual, but not to the point of being awake or busy for days at a time, and without neglecting responsibilities. As far as depression, I become less social and spend more time alone reading and watching TV and movies and sleep a bit more than usual.

At a recent appointment with one of my neurologists, I did share my experience of the time loops in case it's some symptom of illness, and she said that she's unfamiliar with this sort of experience and that I have neither brain damage nor seizures which would explain it. She referred it to psych, so I'll address it with the mental health professional I'll be seeing later this month. In terms of medical issues shortly preceding my re-experience of the time looping, I was unconscious for a period of 18 hours here at home. My mother was unable to rouse me. I was recently given a 3 day ambulatory EEG to investigate that incident and am still awaiting the results. I'm also doing a home sleep study next week, which is to investigate persisting memory loss in that I don't remember blocks of time which has occurred since during the time when I had the Guillain-Barre Syndrome. It's minor, now, but the doctors (and I) do wish to discover the cause and a potential preventative measure or cure for the cause. It's not so severe now but, some months ago, I would consistently become confused about the season, whether I'd eaten, what tasks were planned for the coming day, etc. I Think that I was given some sort of tests for my memory and it was found to be normal. But, then again, I may be remembering tests for lack of memory completed during a previous time loop. Ironic to have added memories as well as missing ones.

But, lately, my memory is working fine and my mother (with whom I live and who was was keeping track of my health and care when I couldn't) is very impressed with my recent progress and positive outcomes in terms of my memory and physical condition-- I had to go through about a year of physical therapy to regain my strength and coordination following the paralysis. I'm no longer confused or forgetting blocks of time (my memory is pretty hazy for the few years following my cure, however). There are few changes/alterations made over the course of the successive time loops, with most changes having been made gradually over numerous loops. It's more a matter of minor alterations. Making major changes appears to be impossible-- or impossible enough that it hasn't been figured out. And the changes are very small-- for example, at this time of year in many previous loops, I was using primarily my wheelchair and a walker. This time loop (as in many of the recent past), I need only one Lofstrand crutch and will soon not need even that. In fact, soon after this most recent time loop started, I asked my mom why I was using it again and she said I haven't gotten past using just one. I've been working hard at strengthening and now do need it only some of the time; the physical therapists weren't positive even that would happen. I remember not using it. In early time loops, I had the awful experience of being at the nursing home "Again" and would ask why I had to keep going back. That was awful. I don't ever remember the entire previous loops; I remember people and some events, some of which don't occur again, which is fortunate as some were horrific. I became pregnant and the baby died at 4 months of gestation due to an infection I had. I remember the induced "birth" and my mother telling me, Don't look, Sweetie... It's a horrifying memory. Since then, I'm very careful about whom I'm intimate with and careful not to get pregnant.

Some of the early time loops restart in earlier times within about a year and a half of the present loop. So, there are some different people who were met, known before, and aren't met/known now, some whom it's become clear are to be avoided, and others with whom there is a strong connection and varying mutual degrees of memory and awareness of past time loops. Each loop runs for up to 7 years, so approximately 2016-2023. Some loops have run for shorter periods of time-- I Think, but am not positive. My memory of previous loops used to be better. I remember lying on a pavilion on which some friends and I always sat and covering my eyes with fabric, describing that various friends would show up at various times, and strangers dressed in various ways would be passing by this way or that on the sidewalk. I used to remember that one former friend rapes a mutual friend and sometimes be able to warn her in time to just not be alone with him no matter how harmless he may seem. For many horrific cycles, he raped her on two or three separate occasions, resulting in serious physical damage to her. She eventually began breaking off her friendship with him and became progressively better in each loop at keeping herself away from him and safe as the loops have increased. I don't think she gets raped the second and third times, these loops. But her only other viable option is to go home to a horrible family, so there's really no winning for Marie, as I've come to assess the situation. This time, she was raped once; I didn't remember that it happens until after it already had. So, that's an example of the type of changes which occur-- and sometimes don't. It's not always for the better.

There was a loop that used to start in fall 2015 or earlier, but I hate that one because I remember Marie from other time loops but never meet her in the fall one, and just know she's out there Somewhere, suffering and going through who knows what kind or depth of hell. This begins-in-Spring loop is more difficult for me, in terms of physical ability as I'm still using one lofstrand crutch much of the time and there are more stressful circumstances in my life such as the rapist harassing me for supporting Marie, but I decided to stay with the Spring one so I could be here for Marie again. She remembers that the loops happen but not much more than that, but does remember that John used to rape her on multiple occasions when she kept trying to renew a friendship with him after what he did the first time. So she does stay away from him now. Thus far, and--to my recollection-- in the future of the time loop, these are the sorts of situations on which I make an impact, by helping to empower friends and family members to better handle their day-to-day and more serious problems.

I don't work in the science or medical field, so it isn't as though I'm apparently here to make increasingly major discoveries or something like that, as might occur in a movie or TV series! My time loop series wouldn't make it past the first month of airings! I'm now well enough to return to my work at a local college and perhaps even to navigate campus at the other college to complete my last semester of classes for my Bachelor's Degree at the university this coming spring, after which I hope to teach while pursuing my masters degree. I do like playing a part in improving the lives of others, but those improvements seem to have reached their limits many loops ago. There may be more I can do in the next 7 years. I don't currently recall making significant changes since many, many loops ago and know plenty of people with plenty of problems I can't help to fix. It seems like there ought to be a scientific or medical component to my experience, because I can't imagine this happening over... and over... and oooooover ad infinitum without any further improvement in some life, somewhere.

And I should mention that I am still affected by the aftermath of the Guillain-Barre and the overall weakness of my immune system. In fact, I'm having a flare up which requires treatment again, for the first time in years. (I should mention that this time loop experience has been going on for a number of months, far longer than the symptoms of illness recurred.) I'm not a scientist or a doctor. I don't have a lot of opportunity to make big changes in Anything over the next seven years and, as I recall well from other loops, I keep having debilitating flare ups just as I am right now, so how on Earth I can do anything extra is beyond my ability to understand.

In fact, I remember eventually becoming so very ill that I simply wish to no longer be here and stop pursuing medical treatment, because I get so tired of suffering and putting my friends and relatives through it all. I've already lived as much of this life as it appears I'll ever get to! I've tried meditation and even prayer (I'm not religious or spiritual, even, but it seemed worth a shot) just to make the time loops stop so I can continue on past 7 years from when a time loop starts. This time, I just Wish and hope for some scientific solution or, frankly, perhaps to be so heavily medicated that I don't have to fully experience everything again. I realize that life may become more difficult, and I may end up with more illnesses as I get older, and certainly I'll lose loved ones. But seriously, I'm up to over 40 times of repeating this time loop-- and note that I decided to stop trying to keep track around forty and hoped/wished/asked/put out to the universe or whomever or whatever that I remember less in order to prevent my brain melting due to pure boredom.

I love my family, friends, animals, and the world but I've had them for a crazy amount of time already and don't wish to continue watching them struggle, either. Many of us aren't super healthy or anywhere near wealthy, so it's not like we're even livin' the good life. In some time loops, I worked on writing. I wrote children's books. I work on horror novels. But I end up realizing that I'm unable to keep up with the work required to succeed as an author in the industry as it stands now... not to mention the tedium of rewriting what is not particularly intellectually stimulating material. Additionally, I should note that I had at least one brain MRI while I was ill and it was normal. I recently had a head CT-- ordered due to leg weakness-- which was also normal. I thank you very much for your time in reading this!

Does anyone know of some kind of scientific professional who studies such matters and would be willing to try and figure out what is going "wrong" here? I consider it to be "wrong" because I'm not happy and no new positive changes occur for others. Short of a major health improvement-- and my condition is chronic (forever) with flare ups, in addition to other health problems-- it isn't as though I can decide to switch tracks and do anything significant in the world, nor do I know whether that would stop the time loops. Maybe they'd continue so that I'd keep making those changes. I want to 1) Understand how and why this is happening, scientifically speaking and, 2) Continue on past 7 years and not come back to do this yet another time. There should be 7 years until it starts all over again, so I have a little time to figure it out. I think that, previously, I ended up not pursuing a scientific method for stopping the time loops because I wanted more time with family and friends. But they are suffering over and over, too, (short of a multiverse-type situation) and I'm tired of watching them suffer. I'd like-- short of some catastrophe, which is always possible-- to live the next seven years and then live the next however many years I have left in this life. If it's just seven and what comes next is nothingness (which is what I essentially believe in, although time loop wackiness makes one wonder about a lot of options) or nothing worse than this life, I want to move on.
 

Neutrino

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Jun 29, 2016
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#2
Thank you for sharing your experience. It´s quite confusing and there are some things that I do not fully understand from your writings.

There is a 7 year period that your are living over and over again? How many times have you "lived" it? Once you are reaching the end of one of those periods, what happens before you go back to square one? Are you 7 years younger when you start?

There are some movies that shows similar phenomena (in a more superficial way, of course), but sounds very similar to Groundhog Day, or Butterfly Effect. When you are starting a new 7 year loop, the initial conditions are always the same? Major events in the world are changed? If I had to give an explanation then it would be multiverse. If everything around you goes back 7 years, that means the whole universe has gone back 7 years? Everyone on Earth is reliving those same 7 years? If you are moving through other universes, then it's not necessary for the Earth to "unspin" 7 years, and all stars and galaxies to return to their previous positions, that sounds extremely difficult to happen. If that is not the case, then have you tried remembering lottery numbers, or do wolrd cup champions repeat?

This is very strange, and though it sounds pretty amazing, it must be very tough for you.
 

PaulaJedi

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Jan 17, 2014
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Zeta Reticuli
www.microsingularity.net
#3
This is very interesting. Do you remember anything when you enter a new loop?
This statement intrigues me:" Each loop runs for up to 7 years, so approximately 2016-2023. "

So, you've lived in the future? Do you remain 36 years old or do you "wake up" older?

Do you disappear from your current timeline? Are you in a loop now or back to "normal"?
I don't blame you one bit for getting a psych and medical eval. The fact that they aren't finding anything is also intriguing. I hope you don't mind all the questions.
 
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Syzygy

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Jun 5, 2013
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#4
Welcome TimeLooper.

PaulaJedi asked most, but not all, of my questions. Are you're claiming you have experienced forty 7-year-long time loops? And, maybe, more importantly, which of your problems began after your being treated as a manic-depressive?

Concern for you prompts me to share an experience that I'd have sooner forgotten. My having long ago been misdiagnosed bi-polar nearly proved fatal due to malpractice. Knowing lithium, which is only okay for batteries, often causes hypothyroidism, so-called doctors whom prescribe the poison are required to regularly run tests on their victims to monitor the reduced function of their thyroids. Therefore, by so misdiagnosing and thus mistreating someone with a nearly inactive thyroid while neglecting to read their alarming lab results, it’s possible the seeming witch doctors serve Project MKUltra.

Recently mentioned in another thread was the fact that all but one of my strange encounters with the unknown have been supernatural. The exception was described above. It resulted in my hallucinating for the entire month that it took for me to get the battery ionizer out of my system. Because what I perceived is consistent with world mythologies, most notably Latin and Greek,

I yet wonder whether worlds somehow overlap.

Sore as was I about that ordeal for a very long time, I am glad that I can laugh about it now. Hence, I will try to add some humor to my then seeing things in nature enspirited whereby to invite speculation about the true origin of fairytales. A short account of what I perceived as a dubiously enchanted realm follows:

Our laws of physics didn’t seem to apply there, in that the realm’s human-like creatures were neither given to our rationales nor constrained by our limits. That was a scary combination. Thence, owing to my lessor affinity with dryads, I took to the water.



The water was, for a while, refreshing. But, despite the sizable amount of time I’d formerly spent daily conditioning for swimming competitions, my suddenly feeling uncomfortable there reminded me of the fact that I was out of my element. However, compelled to seem pleasantly sporting, I played along as naiads toyed with me. Their quickness to lose interest in me came as a relief to me for, had I been as appealing as Hylas, I might have also disappeared without leaving a trace.

Instead, I opportunely wandered in meadows until I, again, felt safe in the woods. That is where I’ll conclude my tale with a comparable animation,

“Felix Dines in the Pines” (hopefully, beginning at 4 minutes and 50 seconds):

 
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Aug 23, 2016
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#5
I'm sorry for the delayed replies; I tried to just put the whole thing out of my mind for a time, but it's difficult to just ignore. I'll begin answering posted questions here:

In response to Nutrino:

Q) "There is a 7 year period that your are living over and over again? How many times have you "lived" it? Once you are reaching the end of one of those periods, what happens before you go back to square one? Are you 7 years younger when you start?"

A) Yes, I live an approximately 7 year period over and over again. I'm always 36 and back in 2016 when I become aware it's started again. I remember having aged to my early 40s, and that my mother looks significantly older.

Q) "There are some movies that shows similar phenomena (in a more superficial way, of course), but sounds very similar to Groundhog Day, or Butterfly Effect. When you are starting a new 7 year loop, the initial conditions are always the same? Major events in the world are changed? If I had to give an explanation then it would be multiverse. If everything around you goes back 7 years, that means the whole universe has gone back 7 years? Everyone on Earth is reliving those same 7 years? If you are moving through other universes, then it's not necessary for the Earth to "unspin" 7 years, and all stars and galaxies to return to their previous positions, that sounds extremely difficult to happen. If that is not the case, then have you tried remembering lottery numbers, or do wolrd cup champions repeat?

A) The initial conditions are always the same; I'm living with the same people, move in with others, and it's at that time I remember the time loops along with a room mate. She doesn't remember as much. I always say to her (since the 2nd loop)-- in despair-- "The time loops. We're back," to which she replies, "Yeah, I know." She doesn't remember nearly as much as I do, but she remembers some of it. Her life circumstances have changed a lot over the course of the loops. For example, she used to get pregnant by one boyfriend, but in the more recent time loops, she's broken up with him and gets pregnant by another boyfriend around the same time. She's always happy she's pregnant.

A2) I haven't tried remembering lottery numbers or anything like that, so far as I recall. I definitely haven't in this time loop. I would try if I thought it would work because there are many charities in need of funds, many people and animals who would benefit from financial support.

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In response to PaulaJedi:

Q)This is very interesting. Do you remember anything when you enter a new loop?
This statement intrigues me:" Each loop runs for up to 7 years, so approximately 2016-2023. "

A) When I first realize that I'm in a new time loop (I can't tell for sure how long before that it started, but not more than a few months, I'm pretty sure) I don't remember specifics. I remember that the same things happen over and over again for about 7 years and that I'm sick of it. In early time loops, I thought that I was just crazy. After 3 or so, I thought they were pretty cool and interesting. As each successive loop occurs, I feel less and less positive about them. One of the main issues is simple boredom. Even if something isn't familiar to the extreme, it's q deja vu been-there-done-that experience. I still enjoy time with family, friends, and my pets, but one can spend only so much time socializing. I'm still too physically disabled to work, so there's a lot of time to fill. As I wrote in my initial post, I used to work on writing books, but I did that Over and Over and Over again and.... I'm just "over" it. I still enjoy reading novels. In earlier time loops, I spent a lot of time reading about physics and researching anything to do with time loops. If you check around the net, there really isn't much out there in either fictional or possibly-true stories.


Q) So, you've lived in the future? Do you remain 36 years old or do you "wake up" older?
A) I "wake up" at 36 years old and remember becoming older.

Q) Do you disappear from your current timeline? Are you in a loop now or back to "normal"? I don't blame you one bit for getting a psych and medical eval. The fact that they aren't finding anything is also intriguing. I hope you don't mind all the questions.
A) I have no idea whether I vanish from the timeline 7 years from now or what happens. I remember getting very sick very late in the loop, so maybe I even die. I just don't know.

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In reply to Syzygy:

Q) Are you're claiming you have experienced forty 7-year-long time loops?
A) Yes, I seriously am making that claim. Believe me, I wish that I wasn't. I've barely discussed it with my friends and this is the only place I've posted about it. It's absurd.

Q)And, maybe, more importantly, which of your problems began after your being treated as a manic-depressive?
A) My Bipolar Disorder was treated beginning in my early 20s. I'm now 36. Only recently did I first consider or become aware of the time loop experience.

Q)Concern for you prompts me to share an experience that I'd have sooner forgotten. My having long ago been misdiagnosed bi-polar nearly proved fatal due to malpractice. Knowing lithium, which is only okay for batteries, often causes hypothyroidism, so-called doctors whom prescribe the poison are required to regularly run tests on their victims to monitor the reduced function of their thyroids. Therefore, by so misdiagnosing and thus mistreating someone with a nearly inactive thyroid while neglecting to read their alarming lab results, it’s possible the seeming witch doctors serve Project MKUltra.

A) I'm not prescribed Lithium. Also, I'm given a ride range of medical tests regularly due to my now-"mystery illness" because I had a relapse of my illness and the doctors said that wouldn't have happened with what they gave as a diagnosis when I was first sick a few years ago. The doctors say it's close to one particular illness but they literally said it's (my name)-- type of the illness. It's significantly different from other patients. It's an autoimmune illness, and the doctors say they aren't yet well understood. My thyroid has been checked regularly due to sleepiness and it's normal. I'm very sorry that you went through that horrific experience! I, too, look to humor in trying to deal with unfortunate medical situations. I recently began swimming as a healthy fitness regimen to help me gain more strength so I can ditch my cane!
 

Syzygy

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Jun 5, 2013
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#6
Welcome back, TimeLooper.

I’d been inactive here for awhile when I chanced upon your response. In digesting the volume of information supplied by you, I categorized and reorganized the essence of it into something of a case file. To ease both others’ review of this thread and, perhaps, your use of additional subheadings for the purpose of recording your treatments (received and scheduled) as well as plan(s) of action, a recap preliminary to further discussion directly follows:

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Subject: TimeLooper (TL) -

Description: 36-year-old woman, living in Upstate New York, is experiencing time loops. Each loop, of a total of about 40 loops so far, has lasted upto seven years roughly between 2016-2023.

Typical time loop: TL wakes up at 36 years of age and, within a few months, recalls her having repeatedly thus woken up whereupon she commences to similarly live to be about 43 years old when, presumably due to a health complication, she dies and/or vanishes briefly before indefinitely reliving the same phase of her former existence.

Medical History -
- Bipolarity satisfactorily treated since early 20s.
- Mystery autoimmune disease aggravated by susceptibility to
- Guillain-Barre syndrome, which is typically preceded by “an infectious illness such as a respiratory infection or the stomach flu [... It] is a rare disorder in which your body's immune system attacks your nerves. Weakness and tingling in your extremities are usually the first symptoms. These sensations can quickly spread, eventually paralyzing your whole body. In its most severe form Guillain-Barre syndrome is a medical emergency[...] Most people recover from [the] syndrome, though some may experience lingering effects from it, such as weakness, numbness or fatigue”-- Guillain-Barre syndrome - Mayo Clinic.

"In terms of medical issues shortly preceding my re-experience of the time looping, I was unconscious for a period of 18 hours here at home. My mother was unable to rouse me,” TL wrote.

Months ago, she was regularly confused about the season, whether she’d eaten, what, if any, plans she had for the day ...&c.
Sometimes the few years following a lapse in her health can be “pretty hazy.” Consequent to her syndrome related paralysis, “I [have] had to go through about a year of physical therapy to regain my strength and coordination.” TL has had to use a wheelchair and a walker during previous time loops, but, thankfully, one Lofstrand crutch has sufficed during this and recent time loops. And, despite the physical therapists’ being less optimistic, she believes she’ll soon not need a cane, "I've been working hard at strengthening and now do need it only some of the time. I remember not using it."

Recurrent inter+personal problems: TL did once and her abused friend, Maria, continues to get pregnant with mixed results: an induced birth impelled TL to become both more discriminating and cautious in matters of intimacy, whereas her friend, either by consent or rape, is only happy to conceive a child.

Preventing Maria from being repeatedly violated gives TL a limited sense of purpose while the former, for being in dire straits, cannot win.

Summary: TL, who only feels capable of making modest and gradual changes in her life, recently took up swimming. When not struggling to overcome adversity, she still takes some joy in life, e.g. in reading. Somewhat interested in becoming certified as a teacher, she has already written her share of children’s books and horror novels. Lastly, much as TL loves “family, friends, animals, and the world,” she simply wants to live the remainder of her days as an ordinary mortal.
________________________________________________________________________

Have you any corrections to make to the above?

It is because of the fact that, after a few life-altering events, I and even the world seemed so different that I choose to give you every benefit of doubt.

In attempting to understand the cycles common to your time loops, I was confused about your being 36 after your having gone “through about a year of physical therapy” subsequent to a 3-year-long hazy phase. Is that circumstantially usual?-- or, are you sometimes closer to 40 years of age at this stage of your repetitious life? Also, inasmuch as there is no “cure” per se for Guillain-Barre syndrome, did you mean that you were in a state of malaise for a few years following your recuperation?

Your mention of your having once stayed in a nursing home surprised me, but, then, I discovered the fact that it’s increasingly common for them to admit persons in their early thirties.

Disparate are the genres of literature that you’ve mentioned. Hopefully, your love of writing horror novels doesn’t bleed into your writing of children’s books, since few people especially like scary bedtime stories. Moreover, don't you find strange the irony of your preoccupation with terrifying tales and the hellishness of your indefinitely reliving a time loop?

I recommend you keep a diary or daily journal.

It's late. So, while I might have more to add later, there is one more thing I'll mention before closing.

You have spoken about the importance of purposefulness. That may not necessarily involve religiosity, but, were I in your shoes, mine would be a continual prayer. Momently dwelling in the Holy Spirit, I mostly pray “[...]deliver us from evil” for that implies more than peace-- that is prerequisite to realizing heaven in a benevolent, loving and forgiving, God.

0: -) MGby.
 
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Hyborean

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Aug 26, 2015
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#7
It's hard to know how to respond to this.

It seems like you may have got a bit of what I got.

The main hypothetical points I will make are these. If someone from the future comes back and interferes in a past time, it will be very vague and hard to remember. But there should probably be more than what you are reporting. You make a conclusion that it is a time loop without explaining why you think it is so.

What you are possibly experiencing is time diffusing over a broad number of choices, and then most of those choices (usually the really radical, more improbable ones) are being cut off, but you are retaining at least partial memories of them.

In my own case it looked like someone from the Philippines entered my family to steal money from us, and to do this to us turned to the help of the Asian underworld (probably a Chinese vampire billionaire) and sold access to some of these more radical time limes to governments who wanted them to do time simulations in, and steal money. It's a longer version of the awesome Duval scam that the government can't stop for some reason.

So I ended up with a bunch of bad memories, and a bunch of spy stuff like what a proton hammer is, and how the stealth drive in a Typhoon submarine worked, and stuff about nuclear weapons like why a copper cable is so useful and that one of the explosives the Russians use has the acronym PETN.

If you are having problems like this, share some of your memories with us. If most of your memories are not of this type it may be that you are being used as a carrier or a host (this is too hard to explain). There may be someone who you recognize eventually from these memories, as I remember good old Jeffery Alan Lash, who probably had some of our stuff in storage, and now the LA sheriff has it.

Though I made contact with law enforcement, it seems like they kind of know what is going on, at least part of the time. Every time they get close to making the trail, part of it gets disconnected and they start back to square one, answering a phone call from "crazy people talking about little green men."

It seemed like whenever anybody died in my family, some of the stuff got turned on to make us keep quiet about what was going on, like you suddenly realize you are a criminal or a spy, and can't figure out how you got there. So they blackmailed most of the estates away from me.

Without more info all I can recommend is for you to get some honey and drink a little in tea everyday, eat apples and other fruit a lot. Stay away from processed soda drinks. Buy a couple tecties from different meteor impacts and always carry two or three spread out in your pockets. Change them up sometimes with some other ones.

Stop risky behavior and drug use. Be careful of people you don't know. Be aware of your surroundings and spend a lot of time with your family.

If this is what is happening, then by all means reply with more info.
 
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